I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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