when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
