Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
