Her vagina should come with caution tape.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
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