she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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