I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
