so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
