Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Randomize
