i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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