she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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