I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Randomize
