Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
You made out with two different species that night
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Randomize
