and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Randomize
