I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Randomize
