I feel great
I just peed on a car
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
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