Buhtt sex?
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
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