how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize
