You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
