i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Randomize
