ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
