I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
it's like heaven, but drunker
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Randomize
