you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Randomize
