I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Randomize
