I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
