Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
How does it feel to date your dad?
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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