It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
