I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
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