The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
