i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
