don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
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