I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
