I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Randomize
