Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Randomize
