Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Randomize
