thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
My ATM looks so different sober.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Randomize
