Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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