Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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