About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
