Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
