I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Randomize
