Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Randomize
