Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize
