so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Randomize
