Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
