We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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