yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
