so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.�
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
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