Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
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