She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
Randomize
