Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Randomize