sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Randomize
