he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
tonight lets celebrate not being married
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Randomize
