if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
I can't watch pbs sober anymore
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
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